Looking For My Desert Oasis

I know I have been out of range for a while..well, a lot has happened since when I was last here...I completed a 10,000 word thesis. Actually that's it...so after I did, I took a long deserved break. However, from time to time I have been frequenting this page and I've started to write something only to stop mid-sentence. Could it be though that I lacked the inspiration to write? Because I had a story, but I didn't know what to do with it. And for those writers who've been doing it long know it happens. They call it writer's block. But, I've learnt that sometimes you just need to step back into it. But you know what, I did get my inspiration. And it took an animation to get me back to writing. Actually, a character in the name of Dory.

It's hard not to love Dory in the movies 'Finding Nemo' and 'Finding Dory'. Not only because she is voiced by someone who is herself inspiring, but that her character makes people like me and Marlin (am a worrier just like him) feel like we're taking life too seriously. I particularly liked the reference they used, #whatwoulddorydo. And indeed, if you made decisions like Dory would do, you're assured of a worry-free life. Having a short-term memory loss was not a disability, in fact, she made friends easily that way. If you've not watched this animation, do yourself that favor because there's lots to learn from a blue tang fish named Dory.

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, valuable but small and sometimes I wonder, do I do it  because I like it or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer, I just want to send this cosmic question out to the void. So, good night dear void." These words were uttered by Meg Ryan's character in the movie "You've Got Mail", an 1998 classic film that I just love. In fact, I've watched it three times. I like to do that actually. The first time I watch a movie its out of excitement, but the second time, it's to notice the details. The third time, well...its just to enjoy it again. Anyway, these words make sense right? Do we live small lives because we aren't brave enough to live big ones? Do we feel inadequate or small? Maybe we feel we are just meant to be small. Nothing wrong with living simply, but there's something wrong when you're not living the life you're supposed to. This is called fear.

It's not until recently that I realised that I, like many of you live in fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of getting out of your comfort zone. Fear of taking a step of faith. Actually, before we go into talking about fear, let me tell you what 'looking for my desert oasis' means. You know how you experience so many problems that you feel like you're in a desert? You feel like you just might succumb to the deadly heat, but a small voice inside keeps telling you, don't give up, just look for the oasis. And that's just enough to keep you going, looking, until you find it. This is something I went through a few weeks ago when I was trying so hard to complete my thesis. I spent so many nights just walking that desert, and when I had finished, I found my oasis. It was utter joy and relief to finally get there and quench from the desert heat. But that, like life is not where the story ended, I now begun to think about what grade I would get. Hence began a fresh walk in the desert of the unknown. Because I had in mind that if I did not get a pass in my thesis, I would succumb to that heat, and all the hard work would have been for nothing. So again, I went in search for that desert oasis...that moment when I would finally receive a passing grade. And you know, I did reach my oasis, and my goodness, it was far more refreshing than the first oasis.

Now here is the problem about looking for an oasis...you never stop to think about the One who put you in the desert in the first place. Well, you didn't just end up there did you? The One who put you in that desert, did that for a purpose. Did you ever stop to think why He put you in that situation? Wasn't is so that you could trust Him. Trust...does that word sound strange... wait a minute, isn't that the opposite of living in fear. So now you know where am heading with this. We walk through many deserts in our life looking for that oasis, but thing is, we never stop to look at the One who put us there. We never stop and ask Him to guide us through the journey, we just keep going, trying to do it by our own strength. Well, I found out that it doesn't quite work out that way. So, now I know what I would have done differently during my walk in the desert...and that is look to Him....trust Him to guide me through and leave my worries, because He who put me in the desert promises that He shall never leave me. So, now am no longer looking because my Oasis has been there the whole time. :)